What if your heart beats again for the second time? Scary, isn't it? Many questions pop-up your mind especially now that he proposed marriage to you. The first question that your mind have formed was what is the wedding etiquette for a second marriage?
It is a tough question but it needs to be answered. Learning the wedding etiquette for a second marriage will help you lessen the pressure and tension that your first family (which you love so much) have unconsciously thrown at your back. You need to carry the situation like any sensible adult.
Before, it is a popular thought that second marriage should not be elaborate, extravagant and formal the way a first marriage is celebrated. But today, this belief does not hold true anymore. You can still aim for an intimate, smaller and quieter second marriage but you can also celebrate a festive one, if you prefer and your budget allows you to do so.
What is important is that your second marriage is celebrated the way you would want it to be. Don't limit yourself and do what others expect you to do for a second marriage. Remember, it is you who will get wed and not them. Besides, you would not violate any wedding etiquette by following your heart's desires.
Here are some information for you on wedding etiquette for a second marriage.
-- Wedding Etiquette for a Second Marriage - Announcing Your Engagement
In getting wed for the second time, your major concerns will be the second marriage's effect on your children, if you have any, and to your close relatives. If you plan to remarry, your children should know first of your decision. You must ready your children for having a new family and new brothers and sisters. Uniting two families will not be stressful for you but for your children, most especially.
The next to be informed are your parents. Of course, they need to be in your wedding and informing them is a sign of courtesy to them. Next will be your ex, especially if you have arranged joint custody for the children. He should know that there will be some changes in your household.
Also, you should wear your new engagement ring. There mustn't have any trace of old flames on your fingers the moment you begin planning and announcing your second wedding.
-- Wedding Etiquette for a Second Marriage - Dress Issue
Widow brides who are getting married for the second time are expected to wear lilac or lavender dress. But these does not hold true nowadays. Wedding etiquette for a second marriage gives bride a chance to wear white dress again. Divorced brides can also wear white dress although they could remove the veil and tiara and instead simply wear flowers on your head.
-- Wedding Etiquette for a Second Marriage - Who to Invite?
When planning for your second wedding, think that you can invite any person you want to attend to your wedding. Refrain from inviting former in-laws and ex-spouses, even if you are on good terms with them. Guests may also feel awkward seeing and being around them.
If your children, however, requested that their father should be in the wedding, try to talk them out about it and tell them how awkward it would feel for the new in-laws and the new groom to see an ex-spouse around. Wedding etiquette for a second marriage does not obligate you to invite an ex-spouse to your second wedding, although you may do so if the situation warranted.
But if your new groom agrees to the idea of inviting an ex-spouse as requested by the children and your ex-spouse agreed on it, then you may invite your ex-spouse to attend your second wedding.
But there is a more sensible idea than inviting your ex-spouse to your wedding. Invite him to a dinner, perhaps at your home, with your children and new husband, if he is up to it. Tell your children that the dinner replaces the wedding invitation and your children may finally agree on not invitating their father on the wedding day. You may do this before or after your wedding or honeymoon.
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Keeping Your Marriage Fresh in Retirement
You may be able to remember that year when the last of your kids moved out. That first year that you are “empty nesters” had a lot of adjustments. But one byproduct of suddenly having the house empty for a lot of couples is what has been called the real second honeymoon. Because parents no longer have to care for their children as actively and they have the big empty house all to themselves, the opportunity is there for some real sizzle to return to the marriage.
Now fast forward to the current year and month and you are settling into your life as senior citizens and retirement. Now, just as way back then, there are some new adjustments to be gotten used to. But guess what? All of a sudden you too may see a dramatic drop off in responsibilities and worries. Perhaps you finally stepped out of the working world and you can sleep late and take naps and go to bed early if you want to. If you sold your home and moved into a senior apartment or assisted living center, all the worries about home upkeep go away too.
So this may also be a time for a real “third honeymoon” to use this new lifestyle to rediscover each other and see your marriage become fresh and new even if you have been married for decades. So how do you go about keeping your marriage fresh in retirement?
A first good step is to make it a priority. When you were first dating, being romantic and discovering each other was your reason for living. That dedication to romance often disappears as the cares of career, keeping a home, finances and raising kids push everything else off of the priority list.
Now is the time for some real romance. Forgot how to do it? Well Hollywood is more than happy to give you some suggestions. One great pastime to do with your spouse that is low cost and not stressful is to just start renting great Hollywood romantic comedies to watch together. As you watch the stars of Tinsel Town put on a display of how romantic people act and behave, you can get lots of ideas on how to keep your own marriage fresh with romantic outings and adventures.
A lot of what makes romance exciting is surprise. You may not think there is anything to surprise your spouse with but that doesn’t mean you cannot surprise him or her from time to time with a romantic and fun gift or unexpected romantic “hello”. Suppose he comes home from his volunteer work to find you have the entire apartment decked out in candles and bows and you are dressed very pretty and you want to make the evening all about him and all about you as a couple. Unless he is made of stone, he will love that surprise.
Or suppose she comes home from her bible study to find the bed covered in rose pedals, a bottle wine in ice on the table and a dozen romantic cards standing open with a sweet message from her guy. Even if it’s the middle of the afternoon, that kind of surprise is going to get her motor running.
Romance is about fun and laughter and becoming the kids you once were all over again. And in retirement, you have the time to focus on each other and become the top priority for each other. It will be a refreshing change of pace and it will bring out the kid in you to be silly, romantic and maybe even a little sexy with the one you vowed to share your life with. And if you get a little frisky, that’s ok too. You are allowed. You’re of age.
Now fast forward to the current year and month and you are settling into your life as senior citizens and retirement. Now, just as way back then, there are some new adjustments to be gotten used to. But guess what? All of a sudden you too may see a dramatic drop off in responsibilities and worries. Perhaps you finally stepped out of the working world and you can sleep late and take naps and go to bed early if you want to. If you sold your home and moved into a senior apartment or assisted living center, all the worries about home upkeep go away too.
So this may also be a time for a real “third honeymoon” to use this new lifestyle to rediscover each other and see your marriage become fresh and new even if you have been married for decades. So how do you go about keeping your marriage fresh in retirement?
A first good step is to make it a priority. When you were first dating, being romantic and discovering each other was your reason for living. That dedication to romance often disappears as the cares of career, keeping a home, finances and raising kids push everything else off of the priority list.
Now is the time for some real romance. Forgot how to do it? Well Hollywood is more than happy to give you some suggestions. One great pastime to do with your spouse that is low cost and not stressful is to just start renting great Hollywood romantic comedies to watch together. As you watch the stars of Tinsel Town put on a display of how romantic people act and behave, you can get lots of ideas on how to keep your own marriage fresh with romantic outings and adventures.
A lot of what makes romance exciting is surprise. You may not think there is anything to surprise your spouse with but that doesn’t mean you cannot surprise him or her from time to time with a romantic and fun gift or unexpected romantic “hello”. Suppose he comes home from his volunteer work to find you have the entire apartment decked out in candles and bows and you are dressed very pretty and you want to make the evening all about him and all about you as a couple. Unless he is made of stone, he will love that surprise.
Or suppose she comes home from her bible study to find the bed covered in rose pedals, a bottle wine in ice on the table and a dozen romantic cards standing open with a sweet message from her guy. Even if it’s the middle of the afternoon, that kind of surprise is going to get her motor running.
Romance is about fun and laughter and becoming the kids you once were all over again. And in retirement, you have the time to focus on each other and become the top priority for each other. It will be a refreshing change of pace and it will bring out the kid in you to be silly, romantic and maybe even a little sexy with the one you vowed to share your life with. And if you get a little frisky, that’s ok too. You are allowed. You’re of age.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)